In the life of a castle
by Samathou
Summary: Well, if you're just bored and you're looking for some WTF story about the life of King DDD's castle, or even have a few suspicions about Meta Knight's identity... You're welcome here I guess. This is a one-shot story. Rated T, just to be sure.


Hi folks!  
Here I am, from midnight to 3AM, writing a one-shot fanfic based on Kirby's universe... because I am bored, and well, I'm a bad ass too.

**Title**: _In the life of a castle_  
**Rated** **T**: Why? Ahem... well, you'll find out later in this short story.

**Ownership**: Nintendo/Sora Ltd.

PS: Sorry for the few English mistakes you may find sometimes. English is not my mother toungue...

But well, feel free to leave a comment if you want so. :]

* * *

... Three, four, five, six, seven, and eight! Here they are; I'll bring these books to Lilia, a Waddle Dee who usually cooks for the King. Two months ago, she loaned them to me so I could discover the universe of which she hasn't stopped dreaming for years.

"Theo? Do I bother?" a familiar voice asked behind me.  
"Wait, you didn't knock on my door. Go outside, and do it."  
The individual obeyed and did so before entering the room.  
"That was useless. I'm your bro', why do I have to act like a stranger?"  
"If you were a stranger to me, I would have kicked your ass, and thrown you far away."  
He stared at me with this stupid expression on his face before speaking.  
"Well, anyway... I came here to ask you if... you couldn't help me?"  
"What's up?"  
"Uh... my mobile phone is stuck at the bottom of one of the toilets... and I fear that the King may find that. So... could you help me to take it back before anything happens?"  
That's the problem when you are the only person that your only bro' knows quite well in the midst of this castle; he will ask you everything. And well... as his big bro', I have my duty. For my pride, yeah... But wait, how did he do to leave his phone at the bottom of the toilets, already?

There is absolutely nobody in the hallways of the castle... I guess the rest is still outside, doing some shit. As always actually. I still find one or two Waddle Dees passing by... but not Lilia. She must be cooking with the other cooks right now. It is 6PM after all...

Here we are, in the castle's bathroom.  
Marc (because my brother has a name after all...) shows me the place in which his stuff is stuck.  
"Marc... what were you doing seriously?"  
I guess I'll have to see if I can find a sucker somewhere... If I use the brush, that will worsen the situation.  
Thankfully, in one of the drawers, I find one which kind of looks old... but whatever.  
"Ok, Marc. You'll catch the sucker with me and we'll both pull this back to see if we manage to take your phone."  
He puts himself next to me and we start focusing our energy on the object. My foot against the border of the toilets to give more strenght to our action, I feel the sweat wetting my face.

"Theo, don't you hear anything?"  
"That's a good sign."  
This is a few seconds later that we both fall down, receiving a few drops on us.  
"Phew, so... where is my phone?"  
I see him standing up, staring a few moment at the opening of the toilets before plunging his right hand inside and extracting an object... which looks like some brown unrecognizable form. He smiles, puts his hands and the object under the water then comes back.  
"We should clean this place, right?"

^o^o^

After a good shower, I go to the -huge- dining room of the castle, and notice that all the plates are already ready, and that some people are already sitting here, waiting for the dinner.  
I take a chair, Marc sits just next to me.  
"You smelly. You didn't take a shower?"  
"Well, nop. I thought it would be better after the dinner as I wanted to take some time for myself before eating."  
I slightly move my chair away...  
The families are coming, still no Lilia around.  
I finally perceive on the other side of this _hell yeah, long_ table Meta Knight sitting down, isolated from the rest of the persons who are here. Isolated... well, seriously, he is not much of a talkative person, nor that easy-going, like you never know what's behind this dude's mask, nor what's in his mind. He is just there. Dealing with his own business... and I've rarely had the chance to approach to him.  
Finally, King Dedede ends up laying his lazy ass on this imposing seat his servants have carefully set in front, so everybody can see him and his eyes don't miss anybody either. He starts talking to some guy not very far from him, and lets us hear a gross laughter. When he laughs like that... it means that actually the humor he's using is bullshit.  
Well, so what's on all this gigantic table? Plates and plates, food and food... I don't even know where to start. Visibly, Marc has been very hungry; he's attacking the chicken's leg he has between his hands with a lot of tenacity. I think he has even left some white stains on his dark green shirt.  
That's how dinners are here: you just see the grand families talking to each other. Sometimes they eat in the castle, sometimes in their own home. And Meta Knight... who's there. Well, he will just eat quietly, his fork behind his mask, like it's too hard to remove it to eat like somebody normal... And now, he looks like he's checking something under the table... Hey, wait! Here he is leaving abruptly the room, his cape all around the body without saying a single word.  
Everybody stares at the situation for a moment before keeping eating and speaking. It just reminds me that I should go see Lilia; anyway, I'm not very hungry. I excuse myself for my absence and leave the room, without having all the previous attention the masked knight had.  
Where is she? Maybe in her private room... or maybe eating with the other cooks. I go back to my bedroom to take the books with me, and go to the cooks' place.  
"Hey, guys! Lilia's around?"  
"Sorry, Sir, but she left a few minutes ago."

Fine... here she is, in her room. I knock on the door, and enter.  
"Theo? Aah, you came for the books? Thank you, thank you. You liked them?"  
Some of her books sucked really... but I cannot tell her that, or she may get pissed. However, If I ever tell her I loved them, she may make me read other books... That's a dilemma. I hate reading.  
"Well, some were good. I understand more your universe I guess."  
She smiles at me, and proposes me to join her on a balcony to have some talk. I accept, and hope that I will no more have to tackle her books.  
We pass by several hallways to finally join an opening to the night sky.  
"Beautiful, right?"  
"Yes, it is..."  
It is quite cold, though... and I have no jacket with me. I guess I'll have to take one or this talk will be a torture.  
"Please, wait a few minutes, I'll be right back."

Damn it... I'll have to go through all these hallways to join my room. Why? Why don't elevators exist here? Why is it full of... passages and of... of... of long stairs?  
Oh, here is Meta Knight who's leaving this room... is that his room? He didn't even see me. Whatever... not my business. Or wait, actually... that could be quite interesting...  
I notice he's forgotten to close the door. Maybe he'll come back later, in a few minutes... and as there is usually nobody around at this time...

I can already contemplate his collection of swords and of shields. This is sweeet... And they are really stylish moreover. But to be honest... there aren't many things to see actually, if we don't mention Galaxia laying in a corner and his knight stuff. And... I perceive something there; looks like a kind of stick or something... or wait, that's a whip actually. What the heck does he do with that?  
Well, I guess I won't learn a lot about him in this place. Too bad... I should hurry up anyway, as Lilia is waiting, and... Oh, here's this basket left randomly in the room. Why would Meta Knight leave this there? Doesn't look very full from my angle. I get closer, and glance at its content.  
What is this? After taking the object on my hands, analyzing it clearly and doing a list of all the existent possibilities, I end up identifying what it actually is: the wrapping of a sanitary napkin.


End file.
